Rule Number One is don't lose the baby. I broke that the first day, and have been playing catch up ever since.

Ten years of staying home with two little girls have passed and the train keeps speeding by. This site chronicles my adventures, discoveries, wild successes and spectacular failures as I attempt to raise two daughters without killing anyone or ruining more lives than is absolutely necessary.

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THE LOST HATCHLING

    Baby birds are disgusting looking creatures. Hairless pink wretches, blind and featherless, with amputated wings for arms and thick blue veins running impossibly close to their thin skin.   They’re not through yet, some exposed embryonic stage that should be kept under wraps, under their shell for a few more weeks at the very least. Impossible to survive. Destined…

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DON’T WANNA

    The human will is an awesome thing. Not ‘awesome’ like we throw it around now, for things so banal as a good cup of coffee or a properly framed selfie. Awesome in the true, world-altering sense. Straddling base instinct and our own, heralded consciousness, our will has allowed us to do fantastic things, both glorious and horrible. What…

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LITTLE CRUSHES

“Daddy, I am in love with Joel,” 6 year-old Sophie pronounced on that drive home from school, mixed in with the voluminous barrage of other things she had said before that. So well mixed that I missed it. I had been rapid firing my non-responses to her eternal diatribe with serial ‘uh-huh’ and ‘wow’ and ‘that’s great honey’-s. I try,…