Author: greenplacebo@mac.com

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IT’S A NOISY WORLD WE MADE ESPECIALLY AT NAP TIME

    You don’t realize how much goddamn noise there is everywhere until you have a baby that hates to sleep. Airplanes and motorcycles and cars without mufflers and screaming and breaking of trash and always some kind of infernal cutting, mowing, trimming, blowing everywhere. It’s as if we are being overrun by some ever-creeping pestilence, the way everyone hacks…

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CARTOON ADVICE IS JUST WHAT YOU’D EXPECT

Disney is a manufactured place of wonder and magic. Meticulously so. Magical, yet imminently predictable at the same time. Once you’ve been going for awhile, great God almighty like we have, you pretty much know what’s going to happen. The enchantment of new discoveries around every corner, characters come to life, cartoon villages you are suddenly thrust in, music and…

BEWARE THE AGENDA

  I was done with all the copying and cutting and gluing of the adorable, annoying, fall-themed projects I had been helping Mrs. McConnell prep for the next week in my first volunteer session. A botched nightmare of red, yellow, and brown construction paper. The children suddenly put all of their work away at the same time, without being told,…

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IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS AND SHE DOESN’T WANT HER TWO FRONT TEETH

Lilah loves losing her teeth. Always has. Both girls have, although Sophie’s have come out so slooooowly. A couple times under anesthesia, emerging woozy with an entire handful of them for the tooth fairy to appraise their fair street value. What is a clutch of forcibly removed teeth worth these days? Apparently more than just a few coins. She gives…